Return To Map

War of the Words

By: Madeline & Anoushka

About The Poem

This slam poetry battle took place between two secondary school pupils in class. Rather than concentrate on their teacher’s lesson, the follies of youth took hold and both girls felt unable to contain their creative flow, resulting in these verses.

The Poem

I do it for myself yeah nobody else
because my mum fell of the shelf
I ride a horse when I want
I try to hire a stunt
But my mum came in and took me money
So I made myself some very fresh honey

Why are you texting me
You’re really kind of vexing me
What is this rhyme
I really don’t have the time
Get your money off my computer
You are as annoying as a school shooter
Go away
I will always have the last say

Says you who couldn’t retrieve the word
I can fly past all of you just like a bird
My fingers type
Faster than you can load skype
I clean the tables
You think my mums name is mables
Jump off the stone
But nah I remember you are a moan
Stop being so peak
You are really a neek
You really think we are having banter
Well really your just a dancer

Shut up my man
You look like a pan
Jump across the ceiling
But you’re not in that feeling
You talk like a face
But I can tie you like a lace
You are a pea in a teapot
But im not rocking you in your cot
Whine in your free time
But I rhyme in mine

Your comebacks are so dry
Like your dad’s home cooked pie
Computer so loud for what
I can kill you like a fly with just one swat
Shut up
You can’t carry my fat dump truck
Falling down the stairs
Pulling out your hair
Now you are a bold women
And everybody stares
Your feet are cold
Like how i am being so bold

You can’t talk
When you struggle to hold a fork
Always falling down the stairs
In your ugly black flares
Look at the time
Oh wait no you have to look at mine
You like to learn about classics
But in chemistry you know nothing about potassics
You can’t even type
But on my computer you always manage to swipe

Don’t make fun of me
When you have a hole in your jeans
Never bringing money
You think you’re so funny
Stop being so unique
You such a blooming freak
Lifting up your legs
Too scared to watch the meg
Your ring fell of the tower
You really need a shower
At least my computer isn’t louder
Shouting like a speaker
In chemistry you got weaker
Face went red real quick
The time goes by tick tick tick

Saying all of this when we all know you have nits
Walking around with black sock mitts
You only personality is your north face
When we all know you’re not famous enough to be on the chase
Saying you’ll do your revision
But we know that’s not your vision
Don’t ask me to bail you out
When all you do is lay about

Walking in the streets
Getting ready to meets
Your black shoulder bag
Dangles and looks so sad
Could’ve gotten it from amazon
But you spent a fortune like the shoot of a cannon
Scared of the Bennet
Tie your hair up faster than the senate
Hair gonna be shriveled
Straighteners so little

Teacher teacher
Don’t yell at me I have done my hw yet
Always on about a friend of pose
A girl that no one even cares about or knows
Trying to sell your clothes on depop
When all your clothes resemble a mop
I’m trying to be nice
But you can’t be fixed even if I put you in some rice

At least my clothes sell
You look like a broken seashell
Your pencil case is 10 years old
When you touch your eyes you get a scold
You don’t have snapchat
Because you are a fat rat
Adidas for PE
At least I can have a nice wee

Up sending streaks at 5 in the morning
Sending streaks in 2021 is the definition of boring
Caressing my computer at every opportunity
That’s abuse you are not part of the community
You’re jealous your computers not touch screen
Never stop and ask anyone how they have been
Say i’m an acute angle, but you are as big as an obtuse
Say I can’t do maths but you are barely in set two

At least I didn’t have to do a retest
You can’t even go to a meat fest
My time has been wasted on this ungrateful brat
So I am going to end this rap

Return To Map

Do you have poem you would like to feature? Submit it here